The following is an amalgamation of several dialogues that took place in broken English and broken Indonesian.

“Hello meester!”

“Hello, how are you?”

“Good! Where you from?”

“Brazil.”

“Brazil? Ah, Brazil! Fooball, meester. Brazil good. I like!”

“Good. I like.”

“How long have in been in Indonesia?”

“Erm… slower, please.”

“How long Indonesia?”

“Ah. Three wait.”

“What?”

“Huh? Ummm… minute. Dictionary. Erm, minute… minute… Ah! Sorry. Three weeks.”

“Ah, three weeks. You speak Indonesian?”

“Little. I learning everyday few language Indonesia.”

“Good, meester. Can I take your picture?”

“Sure.”

“Now you and me.”

“OK.”

“Now with my friend. Now you, me and my friend. Now you and my wife. Now you me, my wife, and my friend.”

“OK, good. Please, where food?”

“Food? You want to eat?”

“Yes, eat. There is house food good here?”

“Here, meester. Eat with us!”

“What?”

“We have food. Beach barbecue. We give you food.”

“Wow. Thank you. Yes, I like.”

“Please, sit. You want rice, chicken, vegetables?”

“Thank you. Thank you.”

“Here, have some mineral water.”

“Wow. Chicken good! Chicken beautiful! Chicken good good.”

“Meester. My wife. She made it.”

“Spice very good. Minute, dictionary. Erm… ah, best… minute… world. Yes, best chicken world!”

“Thank you, meester. You are friendly.”

“What?”

“Friendly, meester. Look your dictionary.”

“Minute…. ah! Friendly. Thank you. You are friendly.”

“Thank you.”

“I have to go now. I taxi hotel.”

“No meester, we take you.”

“What?”

“We all take taxi to city. Come with us. What hotel?”

“Mario Marannu.”

“Ah! I live near. Meester, we watch football tonight?”

“Yes, I like.”

“We come find you in hotel.”

“OK. How much for taxi?”

“No, meester. Gratis. Gratis.”

“No, let me pay.”

“No meester. Very nice to meet you. Football tonight.”

I never saw them again.