Well, partly. It’s determined by the choices you make.

When I crossed from Cambodia to Vietnam, the culture shock was far greater than when I crossed the other way.

There are two ways to explain this.

1. It was a matter of relative durations. We had spent only one week in southern Vietnam before going to Cambodia. A country that was supposed to be a quick side trip kept us for one month. We were exposed to Cambodia far longer, and hardly had time to absorb Vietnam. We got used to one culture, so the change to the other was jarring.

Or 2. It was the people. Cambodians are meek and polite, at least with foreigners. It’s normal for people to mask their true feelings under a façade of extreme politeness. They are big on “saving face” by avoiding public conflicts that can lead to embarrassment.

Vietnam, on the other hand, is far less ceremonious. People are more direct. Bus drivers bark at you to get off quickly at the last stop. People grab your wrist to look at your watch without asking. Shoving in a crowded market is interchangeable with saying “excuse me”.

The first explanation places the responsibility of the culture shock squarely on us. The transition from one place to another was coloured by the choices we made. The second one assumes culture shock is a function of the culture differential between county A and B. That is, it’s entirely affected by the customs and habits of a place as compared to your own. And that the shock would be the same for everyone.

Like many things, the real explanation is blend of both.

While we were touring Indonesia, a German couple we spent the day with were suspicious of the Indonesian affability. Everywhere they went, locals asked them their names and where they were from. They were sure it was a ploy to sell them something they didn’t want.

Bianca and I, however, took it at face value. We understood they were being friendly and curious and we loved that.

That German couple was coming from other Southeast Asian countries with well-trodden tourist trails. Like so many backpackers, they faced a barrage of touts and hawkers, many who try to open a sale by feigning friendship. They ask your name and where you’re from as a gimmick to sell a product.

Whereas Bianca and I were coming from Papua New Guinea, which sees very little tourism and have none of the touts common in Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia. We weren’t jaded by all the false kindliness like they were.

But nothing changes the fact that Indonesians are, by and large, an extroverted and bubbly people who love interacting with foreigners.

On both counts, the culture shock was a function of our choices – the places we were in before – and the locals themselves.

I think that being aware of this makes jarring transitions a little easier. You might still get annoyed at the (seemingly) odd customs of the place you’re visiting. But you’ll know that it’s partly your own fault.

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