Photo by Dave Nicoll

It doesn’t take long to see that the eastern Australian backpacking trail, which stretches from Sydney to Cairns, is geared for the sub-30 set. Hundreds of young’uns, mostly European, flock to the Gold an Sunshine Coasts chasing sunny shores, bountiful alcohol, and beach-beautiful bodies.

Nothing wrong with this, but it’s not for everyone. Which is the reason that travelers 30 and above are a rare sight: it’s easy for them to feel they have outgrown this kind of budget-minded tripping.

1. You feel like a tourist, not a traveler

Byron Bay, Surfer’s Paradise, Fraser Island, the Whitsundays… All lovely places overrun with McTrips that process thousands of travellers daily. It’s difficult to feel like you’re on a journey when you’re just another body among so many others.

Yes, there are tours catering to more discriminating travelers, but the prices are well above the long-term backpacker’s budget.

2. You feel like a chaperone

Remember the last time you went to your favourite university bar or club and felt like you were officially part of another generation? It’s like this.

3. Trips are too organized

You came for a little adventure – and adventure is what the travel agencies promised – but got a grammar school trip. Everything is prepared and planned for you. You have to follow strict schedules and itineraries, even if there’s no guide. It feels like a holiday nanny state.

4. You turn your nose at goon

At some liquor stores you can buy a four-litre box of terrible wine they call goon for as little as $11. It’s a favourite on three-day tours where you must bring your own drinks: to young broke backpackers the price-to-drunkenness value is unbeatable. For you, it’s a travesty of good taste.

5. You complain about discomfort

You’re no longer content with the tissue-thin sleeping mat they provide on camping trips. You’re can’t fall asleep on rock-hard surfaces like you once could. Probably because you’re not drinking enough goon.

6. You long for quiet contemplation

Between the big crowds, the drunken hooting, and the sound systems constantly blaring top 40 hits, your only moment of serenity is that magical time between 3 and 7 am when everyone is sleeping. If you’re lucky, you can find a quiet corner in whatever touristy town you’re saying at for reading, writing, or meditating.

7. You’re not challenged

You speak the local language. The streets are tidy and orderly. Everything is organized and predictable. You’re not in an alien culture, having to negotiate unusual customs and learning something new everyday. It quickly becomes quite boring.

8. You’re done with all the partying

You’ve already done it all: the drinking games, the random hook-ups, the next-day amnesia. With your wild days behind you, you now seek more meaningful, lasting, and vomit-free experiences.

One of several drug delivery apparati in Queenstown

Queenstown is the most convincing proof that governments can profit from the legalization of drugs. This is, after all, the city that deals the world’s most expensive narcotic. Walk around its compact downtown and you’ll see hundreds of addicts, just biding time until their next fix, for which they’ll pay hundreds of dollars.

The drug dealers are registered companies that are taxed and subject to stringent safety standards. There are very few deaths and virtually no violent crime caused by the drug. Because the drug is so expensive and the city so far from major world cities, users tend to come from higher income brackets. And they normally come for a fix or two, then leave.

It’s impossible for someone to steal the drug and deal it himself in the back market. The barriers to entry for new dealers are so high that the number of dealers – and prices – remains steady. This stability also ensures there are no turf wars between dealers.

Drug users await their next fix at the Queenstown harbour

The price of the drug is exorbitantly high because the cost of extraction is immense. Dealers must build pricey and long-term structures, buy specialized equipment, and hire well-trained staff to deliver it.

Some of those costs may include: passenger boats powered by jet engines, cabins suspended by steel cables over a deep crevice, cable cars that transport users to said cabins, special elastic ropes that are tied to users’ feet, robotic winches that bring users back to safety after a drug administration, transport buses, drivers, cameras and editing computers to give users a visual record of their experience.

Fixes can last anywhere from 20 seconds to a full day. Shorter trips are usually more intense.

Interestingly, the drug cannot be manufactured or purified from any other substance. The drug resides within certain glands inside the users themselves, and requires all these complex structures to extract it.

This drug is called adrenalin.

A pedestrian walks past one of several drug dealing stores in Queenstown

1. Because it’s sandwiched between the Caribbean and the Andes, Colombia boasts an incredible variety of musical styles. Some of those styles include:
Champeta • Vallenato • Trova • Salsa • Despecho • Guasca • Merengue • Bachata • Reggaeton • Cumbia • Porro • Currulao • Bambuco • Joropo

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2. If you order a café in Colombia, you’ll be served a little bit of coffee drowned in a lot of milk. If all you want is black coffee, you must order a tinto.

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3. There are three ways to order eggs in Colombia: Frito (sunny-side up), revueltos (scrambled), or perico (scrambled with tomatoes and onions).

Huevos pericos

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4. The town of Popayán was the first in the world to be designated a City of Gastronomy by UNESCO.

Popayán

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5. Colombians call gasoline A.C.P.M., which some like to say is an acronym for the four main elements of the Colombian diet: arroz, carne (or cerveza), papas y maiz: rice, meat (or beer) potatoes and corn.

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6. Colombia is one of the world’s most important exporters of emeralds.

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7. The most typical Colombian food is the humble arepa, a pre-Columbian flatbreat made of corn flour. Depending on the region, it can be thin and crispy, fat and buttery, filled with cheese, and stuffed with meats and condiments. The best one I had was in Sogamoso near the bus terminal. It was thick, crispy on the outside, buttery and cheesy on the inside.

Arepas

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8.  Colombia boasts a dizzying selection of tropical fruits. Some of the fruits I tried for the first time include:
Lulo • Guanabana •  Mamey • Feijoa • Borojó • Corozo • Tomate de arbol (tamarillo) • Mamoncillo • Chontaduro • Arazá

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9. Because of the improving security, many Colombians are starting to discover their own country, yet few know what other regions of the country are like. Colombians regions are so distinct that they can be considered separate nations.

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10. Depending on who you ask, Colombia’s president, Alvaro Uribe is either a) a great man with the courage and leadership to push Colombia into modernity and really fight the FARC guerrillas, or b) a right-wing dictator who neutered the judicial system, rules over the legislature, and has friends in the media to keep Colombians from realizing that he’s slowly steamrolling over their constitutional rights.