.

Travel around the southern half of the subcontinent and you’ll see that it’s still learning the whole tourism thing.

Beach resorts are budding bric-a-bracs of family-owned inns and restaurants. Reliable information takes some footwork to attain. And when you do see tourists, the vast majority are Indians on pilgrimage.

I haven’t been to the north, but I know that it’s far more developed and gets the lion’s share of foreign visitors.

This makes South India uniquely challenging. It can be frustrating, exhausting, discouraging. The noise, the filth, the dilapidated cities, the public urination and loud expectoration vastly outnumber the pleasant moments. It makes you want to cut your losses and head to more civilized corners.

This, I learned, is the coward’s way.

India is the least Westernized country I ever visited. It’s a societal proof of entropy, that the most natural state of things is the least organized. That to create order takes work.

It’s the visitor who has to do the work. With time and effort, the disarray starts to assume recognizable forms and what was unbearable becomes a mere inconvenience between you and your reward.

This is how to get there.

Get out of the cities

India’s charm is in her villages, mountains and coast. Life is slower. You don’t have to dodge careening rickshaws, sidestep flying phlegm, or inhale lorry smog. You can breathe easier.

I had the most memorable experiences renting a motorbike and driving along the Kerala coast, stopping at fishing villages and being welcomed by the locals.

Get invited to a home

Doesn’t matter how. Use Couchsurfing. Chat up a family at a restaurant. Get caught outside in the rain at a residential area. You’ll be invited in. Indians morph into different people once inside their walls. You’ll see how unshakeably generous (and tidy) they can be.

Read a book

Anything that will help you understand the customs, the superstitions, and some of the history. I recommend The Elephant, the Tiger and the Cellphone, a collection of essays by Shashi Tharoor.

Know where to go

Unlike many places, South India is not, generally, a good place for independent exploration. Strolling around a town, you won’t likely stumble upon a hidden gem. Arm yourself with local information and be surgical in your touring.

Join the mess

Eat with your hand. Burp. Spit. Cut in line. Do all the things you were programmed not to do. It’s liberating. And it makes it less jarring when you see others doing it.

Seek the finer things

You appreciate India more when you spend time with the cultural gifts it gave the world: learn about her music, the styles, the instruments. Watch her better films. Go to the theatre and to dance performances. Take a cooking course.

Take breaks

Travelling around India is taxing. Recharge by doing nothing at a beach town or a cool mountain village.

Find other travellers

While I usually avoid other tourists (I don’t travel to be around my own kind) India has proven an exception. Fellow Westerners offer a comforting familiarity. You can have more detailed, nuanced conversations, share stories, experiences, and frustrations. And you can glean some wisdom from someone who has been where you are.

Bribe away

You won’t heal the country’s corruption cancer by abstaining from it. 100 rupees, little more than US$2, goes a long way. Slip someone a bill before receiving a service and watch the difference.

Accept inexplicability

Don’t try to understand the contradictions you see. It is what it is.